Wednesday, June 2, 2010

more about me

1. I do everything in my power to destroy openmindedness that may result from experiencing new things.

2. I don't like most people, even if they have great charisma, are interesting, and have so many brilliant qualities that I could benefit from.

3. I play guitar, but hate music.

4. I consider tunnel vision to be a virtue.

5. I mock those who better themselves.

6. When times are tough, and people are suffering, I do what most evil christians do...judge them for their sinfulness.

7. I turn a blind eye to my own shortcomings and dwell on the imperfections of others.

8. I don't clock out for lunch when I'm at work.

9. I believe in elitism...only because it alienates people and makes them feel insignificant.

10. ....and finally, I find it amusing that some of you assholes actually think I'm serious....

about me

1. i spend more time dicking around on facebook then being productive at work

2. i'd rather eat my own testicles than show compassion towards the downtrodden

3. i wrote a song about fat dead women lying naked in a morgue

4. i harbor resentment towards ben gifford after i caught him making out with my brother

5. i never should have tried to shave my balls after drinking 10 beers

6. i cry after i orgasm

7. all my friends think i'm gay

8. most women think i'm gay

9. i save my farts (for special occasions)

10. i'm still waiting for my first period

11. i thought the movie "showgirls" was nothing short of a treasure

12. i wear a thong when i attend church

13. i can never find my purse (especially when i'm running late)

14. if i was a woman, i'd physically abuse aaron manter and blame him for not being perfect

15. i have a restraining order against my proctologist

16. he has one against me too

17. i'm going to school to be a "purse whisperer"...i have an insatiable urge to manipulate the personal
belongings of women...creepy?...i certainly hope so ;)

18. did i mention i save my farts?

my first blog

this is my first blog.

i refuse to use caps.

this is where i should share my thoughts or say interesting things to capture the attention of others.

too bad i can't think of shit.

wouldn't be nice to actually read something that had substance?

god, kill me.

if this is all i'm going to do, then i'm really wasting my time.

i'm also wasting your time.

i'm a time waster.

and a real dick :D

that is all...